There’s another UFO story in the news this morning as, “Several viewers contacted the BBC about strange lights that appeared in the night sky over Merseyside.” ( Mobile phone UFO footage )
I was abducted by two she-aliens recently. Apparently they’d singled me out because I was driving along with my music so loud I stole their attention. By a bizarre quirk of fate, the combination of Bjork and my unique vocal harmonies had created a sound strikingly similar to the mating-call of one of their alien men-things. I hadnt seen their spaceship because they were in stealth mode. They were apparently playing a game where they hover invisibly over a car throughout its entire journey and change all the traffic lights to red as it approaches them. It seems the sounds emanating from me car got them all horny, so they twiddled the tractor-beam control and I found meself in a predicament.
I originally wrote this for a writers club site soliciting articles on positive thinking
I’ve been practising my own version of a positive thinking philosophy for a few years now. It’s not based on anything I’ve read, it’s just something I developed as I’ve recognised that many of the events I think are bad for me actually turn out to be good. The same thing happens to everyone else too. It took a couple of years for it to become second nature to me, but now that it is I’m even more chilled than I naturally was anyway. I don’t tend to get upset about most of the negative things that happen and realise that time may well uncover something very positive in them.
We entered the pet shop having decided to buy a cat, and came out with a dog. Don’t ask me what happened it was a long time ago. She was mostly, but not entirely, border collie. She had a beautiful coat which was black, white, brown and grey, a really cute face and a price tag of just £6. We named her Lassie, and to this day, I can’t believe I was so unimaginative as to call her that.
Me and my brother had a fascination with fire when we were young, and both managed to set a house on fire. Steve did the first one when we were about 6 and 4 respectively. One of my earliest memories is of a fireman patiently questioning us both after our Oak Street house was rendered uninhabitable.